apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
