dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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