mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This baby is an asshole
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
