He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I am mentally ready for anal.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
