I wish i was in the wii world.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
