You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
