I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
