Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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