i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
