dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
