this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
