fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
