I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
