I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I just sharted jello shots
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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