Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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