its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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