Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
