theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
