is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
