I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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