you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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