So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
