Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
