you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
