oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
