Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
