If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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