lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
