Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
