were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
why do cheetos always look like penises
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
