but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
50% drunk capacity currently
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
