you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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