just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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