I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
