she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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