the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
