no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
