She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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