You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
