Already got asked if we're dating
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
