I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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