Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
