she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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