So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
