I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
