Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
