that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
