i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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