How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
