google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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