I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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