so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
