She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize