I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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