I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
