I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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